I canttake it ani more!

Haix... i jux wanna say wat i wanna say.. after so many days of thinking...

Not many ppl understand me at all... and they PRETEND to noe me... and den ends up with misunderstanding... esp with sum ppl.... hu...

r proud... 0o0ops... i am pissed off ppl telling me off when i am already pissed off... i hate naging... it is so irritating esp during the tyms when i already have no patience liao.... when i do smth wrong... i will get real nervous and think a lot... and well... temperamental coz i am in a world of moi own... i dun really wish ppl would cum and disturb me... well and when smth lyk that happen.... i would either
a) snap at the person....( i no patience liao)
b) Say smth real bad to that person even if they r moi fwens or 'best' fwens whom i have lost touch...(sorry... that's moi attitude when i am nervous and when i am not sure wat to do....)
c) lose moi temper over things veri small... ( coz i am really worried abt the things and it is driving me crazy...)
d) keep real quiet(tis, onli happens i have no barrier agst the person... and well real real good fwens... the kind of angel fwen...in moi life now onli got 1)

hmmmmm.... stupid attitude rite? but too bad that's me... dun really wanna change fer some ppl hu are not really real.... already feelin good tis days...

BItchy ppl do bitchy things... and i am veri careful over that... maybe that's why i am so quiet towards some ppl....

Pain takes a lot of tym to heal... fer me... the longest fer me i 2 months...scars will be all that's left.... but i can learn frm tis scars and live strongly after that...
That's wat life is all abt rite?
Learning every step of the way and be strong....

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saxy ger| 9:39 PM
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Hmmmm... i think it's quite a long tym since i wrote an entry... well... life still goes on... 2moro i'm going to punggol coz moi aunt lives there and her son is gettin engaged so hab to be there to help out and stuff.... now is abt 11:05p.m.... i ought to be asleep by now... but jux cant do that till i get tis over and done with...

Friendster's the same.. wish to change moi profile but cant think if wat to write lorx.... so din change... den dunno hu add me and stuff.. is so sianx... you noe... i lurb makin fwens but it is meaningless liddat... adding and not getting to noe each other... but hu cares... they think is jux fer fun... maybe i jux have to be more careful...

Haix... well... todae went hm straight away... yipee... haha... found moi mum at hm... den realise that she had mopped the floor... and i had planned to mop 2moro.. cox 1:40p.m. released liao marx... so thought can rush hm mop the floor but moi mum beat me to it..

At sch... quite fun lehx... got CL test frm TYS.. nvr study but i think i will pass that.. den accounts.. i jux wanna sae she is a fabulous teacher... wont let us fail de... haha... lurve her! Den was physics... tok abt light lorx.. and whether electromagnectic spectrum had to learn anot.... haix.. exams cumin liao... sianz... den recess... ate at a incredible speed lorx... cant believe moi appetite was SOOOO big... maybe period cuming liao...haha... cannot go swimming liao... lol... den 4 periods of maths lorx.. ms chua got teach a weeny bit of CME... haha.... den went back to maths...at last it was CHem... total chaos? haha... well... moi hatred fer yz is getting worse and worse... and do u think i care? NO... haha... den went fer our LAST EL enrichment...*sobz*... although it was tym-consuming but it was really worth it... with a teacher lyk Mz Chinmaya..and mind you i din spell the Mz wrongly it is spelt that wae... it is sort of a french short word fer married women hu wanna still use their maiden name... cool rite? Haha... well.... it's pretty late i tink i will end here... perharps continue another tym... buaiz!

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saxy ger| 8:08 AM
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Hmmmm... i think it's quite a long tym since i wrote an entry... well... life still goes on... 2moro i'm going to punggol coz moi aunt lives there and her son is gettin engaged so hab to be there to help out and stuff.... now is abt 11:05p.m.... i ought to be asleep by now... but jux cant do that till i get tis over and done with...

Friendster's the same.. wish to change moi profile but cant think if wat to write lorx.... so din change... den dunno hu add me and stuff.. is so sianx... you noe... i lurb makin fwens but it is meaningless liddat... adding and not getting to noe each other... but hu cares... they think is jux fer fun... maybe i jux have to be more careful...

Haix... well... todae went hm straight away... yipee... haha... found moi mum at hm... den realise that she had mopped the floor... and i had planned to mop 2moro.. cox 1:40p.m. released liao marx... so thought can rush hm mop the floor but moi mum beat me to it..

At sch... quite fun lehx... got CL test frm TYS.. nvr study but i think i will pass that.. den accounts.. i jux wanna sae she is a fabulous teacher... wont let us fail de... haha... lurve her! Den was physics... tok abt light lorx.. and whether electromagnectic spectrum had to learn anot.... haix.. exams cumin liao... sianz... den recess... ate at a incredible speed lorx... cant believe moi appetite was SOOOO big... maybe period cuming liao...haha... cannot go swimming liao... lol... den 4 periods of maths lorx.. ms chua got teach a weeny bit of CME... haha.... den went back to maths...at last it was CHem... total chaos? haha... well... moi hatred fer yz is getting worse and worse... and do u think i care? NO... haha... den went fer our LAST EL enrichment...*sobz*... although it was tym-consuming but it was really worth it... with a teacher lyk Mz Chinmaya..and mind you i din spell the Mz wrongly it is spelt that wae... it is sort of a french short word fer married women hu wanna still use their maiden name... cool rite? Haha... well.... it's pretty late i tink i will end here... perharps continue another tym... buaiz!

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saxy ger| 8:08 AM
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Just guess wat moi title means and den you will noe... i am jux that... din go band todae again... y? coz i wake up will cough lyk siao... y? i dunno... maybe moi mood's not that gud lorx.... maybe that's why...and i dun understand ppl pretend to noe mi when actually they dunt? Stupid rite? Or they r jux blind? Hu noes...

Went out to orchard yesterdae... and it's at nite worx... cool... i jux lurve the nitex... walk 'round with shuting, shuxia, liting, weikiat and bryan.... quite sianx lorx... i dunno lehz... i wanna go see clothes de but they lyk not interested de... nvm... next tym go out again... haha..lol... went to Cine to mit liting and shuting coz they went to look fer jobs... but they dun wan so mit them there.. den oso wait fer shuxia cum... cos she alreadi reach liao den walkin 'round... after meeting we went to downstairs to eat but they saw one place looking fer jobs den go ask... budden we din get to eat yet... we went to heeren... walk walk 'round... liting bought her present fer fwen.... den we went back to cine... went to the B1 there to eat... we sat down den weikiat joined us... after we eaten bryan oso came... after that we decided to walk to far east... on the way shuting and shuxia went hm... den left me, bryan, liting and wei kiat... went to far east see all the shops all closed liao.. sianz... den we went to Mac cox i wanna buy ice-cream... after that we went to the 190 bus-stop... wait fer bus... all de 190 all full den hab to wait fer a long tym fer a quite empty one... after boarding the bus... bryan and wei kiat kept toking... haix.. cannot blame 'em.. got a lot of things to tok about.. me jux stand down there listen and sumtyms cut in lorx... but liting stand there lyk sleeping liddat... haha...... den finally reach their stop.. i oso alighted... cox i dun dare wait fer bus alone... den ask bryan pei me wait fer 963 at his house there.. he was lookin fer a lighter coz he wanna do smth... den came a across an uncle with lighter... den got his fire... den went to bus-stop... he tok with an Ex- swiss guy.. dunno hu veri famous he sae.. den after that he called victor out... but he at BP.. den i sae hi to victor and he said hi to me... den i reached hm at bout 12 liddat... den after bathing it was about 1233 liddat.. den went to bed listening to energy...
den found out that moi phone a bit siao liao... hu cares.. den switch off throw one side lorx...

wake up in the morning cough like hell...pain sia moi throat... i jux hope sumone could take that away... i jux hope i can escape to eternal freedom and happiness... but that jux wont happen...

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saxy ger| 9:53 PM
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Can you believe the pain that i am in now?

I wanna die....

get down to the road and get knocked down....

or die of asthma....

dun wanna use moi inhaler liao....

just wanna end moi life!!!!

pen knife is the quickest way....

Blood is all i see nowadays....

dying is all i see these days!!!

Can i?

ignorance to me is a torture...

i cant take it.....

moi life is a waste....

i shldn't hab cum to tis world.....

life sux.....

Died....

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saxy ger| 4:32 AM
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There's so much things to write but i just cant put it in words... going to causewaypoint 2moro to study with kaishin and liyana... nice ppl... hmmm... jux hope i can enjoy moiself there.... haha... so sad so sad... ppl are treating me differently nowadays.... am i really that bad to hv all that ignorance? Ppl dun undrstand me at all... dunno wat i want... wat's the point of living? Tok to him just now but nvr reply to me... am i that invisible? Oh god... maybe the scientists shld take me to their lab ba.... test how i can becum invisible.... i wanna delete moi blog le... no use writing when moi fwens hate me.... sad case.. wanna go crazy and enjoy moiself but they juz dun care abt me.... they are closer to each other now.... i am nth now... absolutely NOTHING!!!!!

I am not worth ani attention? haix... I am human ok.... fancy being moi fwen.... even outsiders can see how i feel.. but you all cant... haix... maybe i am too much fer your to take and classified as NOT IMPORTANT in their world.... well... wth... why shld i give so much and not get anything rite?

Sucker...

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saxy ger| 4:13 AM
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I am questioning if i really exists in your world? Am i really that invisible.... i dun feel like going to sch nowadays... with practically nth to go there fer except fer studying... hope to go out with you guys but... sad case you all sae me... fancy ignoring me? maybe i am NOt IMPORTANT rite? wth... dun care... i got moi other fwens... i dun wanna limit moiself... being with you guys has already limited moiself.. i am no longer goin to sacrifice moi tym fer you guys... always taking me fer granted... i am nt smth so important to you guys... you r all busy busy busy... well... sad... i will find sum activities for moiself!

Went to Jurong Primary yesterday with liyana... cool sch... got a lot to see.. haha.. smth new to me maiz... den meet her really cool fwens... fwens that wont forget you when they meet sumone special...had a lot of fun with them... haha... esp with regina... real cool... well i meet regina, jia lin(i think her name is like tis) and kelda... jialin and regina is from jurong sec... jialin and i tok a lot when we were waitin fer regina hu was pretty late...kelda is from hua yi and she's quiet but will tok lahz.. but not much... jialin was da first to cum to jps... den followed by kelda... regina arrived at about 1...haha.. and she was shuai... haha... tok and tok... cool.... haha... really had a lot of fun... well and alfian was pretty shocked to find me in jps... haha... really enjoyed moiself.... den we left jps and went to jurong east library coz liyana's mum work there and she wanna wait fer her mum to go home... so went there, jialin went hm so went without her...hang 'round there... den went to popular... kelda oso went hm cos tired... den regina got tired too den went home too.... den left me with liyana.. we went to mac's.... on da way i think i saw vic... bloody scared... liyana oso shock when she saw me liddat... haix.... wat to do... i oso saw paula and kanchanah... haha..gotta go liao... really enjoy moiself...

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saxy ger| 8:55 PM
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Friday there was a A maths test, trigo one.... thot i wasn't goin to pull thru... haha.... and guess wat? it turns out dat the provin of identities wasn't wat i thot it was.... it wasn't like the question in the txtbk... so bloody hard in the txtbk.... but i proved all the given proving question! And yes i am very happy... i oso finished the whole paper within a short tym... moi classmates din managed to finish though.... the graphs that the paper requires us to draw was a tough nut to crack though... i dunno if it's correct but i hab the confidence and faith though....

Yesterdae there was performance at the orchid country club fer th NCC dining in.... real happie lorx.... it was a success... haha... but hab to improve on moi solos and sax solis....coz it wasn't really that strong.... haix.... gotta push more from moi diaphram i guess.... sound wise i oso hab to improve though... sat in front of justin and he was like 'crazy'? haha.... dunno wat's got into him... but ms seah our band t'cher and oso our chem t'cher said he failed his section B... she added that i PASSED haha.... but she dunno bout moi section C...

Dunno wat's wrong noadays.... wat r you thinking? you r not wat i used to noe....

Woke up with a itchy and painful throat... really not feelin well now... gotta go do some house chores and revision cox got physics test 2 moro... heard from mr ravi that the test is goin to be a breath fresh air from the chem whic was bloody hard... haha.... gtg...

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saxy ger| 7:51 PM
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Todae, bryan went hm... dunno wat happen hope he's ok... coz when i saw him in the morning he din look good.... oooh... take care worx... haiz.... i am always there fer you!

Todae really not that gud... cant sms and stuff.... i noe y i can get angry with fwens le.... coz when i sae hi to em SMILING and they gib me THAT kind of expression really makes me sianx... real sianz lorx... tryin to sae hi rite? wth.... dun care liaox.... cos i think no tym fer friends nowadays oso... not referin to me...

Been lookin forward to moi new hairstyle but it cant happen 'til i rebond hair and den trimmed it... it's real cool lorx... haha... kk.... sianz.... got a lot of hmwork to do... so gtg liao!

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saxy ger| 4:58 AM
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